Hey hey! OK so here is the scoop...the studio (www.studiobenefit.ca) where I do my class workouts has been closed since the 15th and I have been doing my workouts solo at Physical Park. Let me just say on my journey to lose 100lbs or more this has been a crappola time. I am about to vent ...heads up
1. first and foremost I miss my goddess friends who have been my support this whole time. A wonderful group of ladies with our fearless leader Nancy. I feel a bit lost without them and it is hard to stay motivated without them. I have still been going to the gym at least once a day and playing hockey but it doesn't seem the same. This is a lot a bit of a foreshadowing experience because I get surgery in a week ( ish) and I am not supposed to do activity for 4 weeks. I find this to increase my anxiety by 1000000000 because here I will be stuck without my support network and without exercise , not to mention no school.....all of this free time, limited mobility and no support...SCARY! I have already started researching exercise I can do and as much as I know it is not prudent, I have found ways to exercise without my arms and so to help alleviate my anxiety I am going to try and stay busy with my sitting bike exercises.
2. Let me say this. I truly believe that there needs to be support groups for people going through weight loss. I would love to have a sponsor or something to help me during these hard times. A group that functions like AA or something. I can see easily how people develop eating disorders, I mean today I worked out in the morning and had a decent eating day, then ate diner and had an all dressed baked potato. I felt so crap about eating that that I did another workout....not a horrible thing but more like the precursor to a problem.
ugh anyways, I know that this too shall pass, but for now I just want to have my friends back working out shaking it during zumba , getting my butt kicked in bootcamp and just being with people who help me to be the person I am working to be. 96lbs down and at least 4lbs to go...8 dodos left until the studio reopens! YAY!
Friday, December 27, 2013
Wednesday, December 25, 2013
Christmas 2013 yahoo!
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| in my castle! |
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| Mancini's |
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| SHOW'S OVER!!! |
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| um....ya |
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| HUG ME! |
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| My new basket in my Christmas jammies! |
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| I want to go for a pic nic! |
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| Unwrapping! YAY!!! |
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| MY NEW BOOTS!! YAY!!! |
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| Christmas dress! so pretty! |
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| both my dragons! |
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| The ladies! |
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| Cousins! |
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| chilling with our sippy cups! |
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| not quite the way the mic works ...lol |
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| Daddy and dragon! |
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| MY FAMILY! |
Thursday, December 12, 2013
Defining moments....and people
I find myself sitting here in bed, saying I was going to go to bed early and get a good nights sleep before my exam tomorrow and yet I am awake...I can't stop think about today and everything tomorrow will bring and what it will mean to me.
Friday December 13th 2013 has been a day that I have worked to achieve for the last 6 years. I have already accumulated enough grades to graduate and all I need to do is walk into the room, and sit the exam. If I do that I will be the first in my family to put herself through school and graduate with a university degree. Everyone has their own story , but mine is relative to me and so the EPIC journey will come to a head tomorrow and an incredible chapter of my life will have finally concluded. The sweat and tears it took to get here having been only truly understood by the one person who stood by me the entire way, my incredible husband. I had to fight to get my married name on my degree, but there is no name other than my own that deserves to be there more. As I struggled and fought exhaustion, stress, and sometime hopelessness he stood by. Never once did he say , slow down, take it easy, or any of the other things people say. He knows me too well, he knows I would never do that, and the more people tell me to slow down the more I want to go hard. No, Eric knew what to say and all these years he has said what I needed, "How can I help? what can I do? You will do this, you CAN and WILL do this, don't give up". Eric is EXTRAORDINARY and no man has ever understood his wife as mine does, and I am the one who has the degree but he is the one who helped get me there.
Tomorrow is going to change my life...here is to the next chapter
Friday December 13th 2013 has been a day that I have worked to achieve for the last 6 years. I have already accumulated enough grades to graduate and all I need to do is walk into the room, and sit the exam. If I do that I will be the first in my family to put herself through school and graduate with a university degree. Everyone has their own story , but mine is relative to me and so the EPIC journey will come to a head tomorrow and an incredible chapter of my life will have finally concluded. The sweat and tears it took to get here having been only truly understood by the one person who stood by me the entire way, my incredible husband. I had to fight to get my married name on my degree, but there is no name other than my own that deserves to be there more. As I struggled and fought exhaustion, stress, and sometime hopelessness he stood by. Never once did he say , slow down, take it easy, or any of the other things people say. He knows me too well, he knows I would never do that, and the more people tell me to slow down the more I want to go hard. No, Eric knew what to say and all these years he has said what I needed, "How can I help? what can I do? You will do this, you CAN and WILL do this, don't give up". Eric is EXTRAORDINARY and no man has ever understood his wife as mine does, and I am the one who has the degree but he is the one who helped get me there.
Tomorrow is going to change my life...here is to the next chapter
Thursday, December 5, 2013
Angels come in all shapes...
Today was a day of revelations, a day when I was profoundly touched. I have been going through my weight loss battle as you all know and a consequence has become more and more apparent that I was not prepared to deal with. The physical aspect and the nutrition aspect are pretty easy to cope with in comparison to the psychological. I have been struggling lately and today the most amazing human being noticed and helped me. I could sit here and type just what the impact she had on me and how I hope to be able to make the changes I want to make to deal better with all this and make her proud of me, but it would seriously be too long. We never know the impact we have on a person's life and how we may influence or even change its course, we never know if we are someone's angel.
I would just like to say thank you to my friend. Thank you.
I would just like to say thank you to my friend. Thank you.
Sunday, December 1, 2013
Santa's little helper!!
So this year on a whim we decided to give the Faubourg de L'ile a shot at the last minute and it was super fun! Layla Rose was dressed up like a little helper...shoes and all and the had DEER!!! That was the best part! She loved them and cried when we took her away...She DIDN'T cry with Santa so we consider that a victory even though she didn't smile either....Enjoy!
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| my turn yet? |
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| yup...I brought my wand... you never know when you'll need it! |
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| Now? |
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| OK! here we go! My turn! |
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| ummm...ya, not so much! |
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| have we resorted to bribery...seriously...is that all you got? |
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| BAMBI!!! |
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| getting a kiss from Bambi! |
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| I see you watching me... |
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| that's not Cocoa... |
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| aside form the chewing on the fence...super cute! |
Thursday, November 28, 2013
2 Challenges faced this week
Again I write as a form a free therapy...I am still on my journey to lose weight...life long journey after all and again I am faced with the crazy psychological side of this exhausting battle.
I have been trying and mostly failing at changing how I see and feel about myself, each time I seem to make headway something happens and I take three steps back. So I have been trying to challenge myself in a way to prove to myself what I can do. To prove to myself how strong I can be... so I did 2 really "scary things".
1. At the gym I dared venture into the weight section. I have often used the small free weights or the machines, but never the bars. So I got my big girl pants on and I went int o the scary area and I did ten bench presses with the bars. I was ridiculously nervous and afraid people were laughing at me and how I had trouble getting the bars back in the holders. But I did it...next time I may not panic and actually do the three sets I was supposed to do.
2. I cut my hair!!! I have never let anyone touch my hair to cut it ( unless it was the smallest trim) But I finally said I need to do this. My hair doesn't make me a girl or feminine, I can do this! Why is it so hard? For me my hair is what made me more girlie and feminine. For the most part if you asked 100 people to say one word about me, feminine would not be there. So I felt like if I had long hair it would make me more like a girl. So I challenged that thought process and let Marie Eve Cut it off, and by cut it off I mean a few inches ( 4) that's a lot for me.
Well 2 things down...hopefully I will take away from this that I CAN do this. But I must say it is really hard. I seriously doubt I would be able to do this without my amazing supportive friends at the studio, Gina, Tina, Ariane and Nancy you are my cheerleaders!! THANK YOU!!
I have been trying and mostly failing at changing how I see and feel about myself, each time I seem to make headway something happens and I take three steps back. So I have been trying to challenge myself in a way to prove to myself what I can do. To prove to myself how strong I can be... so I did 2 really "scary things".
1. At the gym I dared venture into the weight section. I have often used the small free weights or the machines, but never the bars. So I got my big girl pants on and I went int o the scary area and I did ten bench presses with the bars. I was ridiculously nervous and afraid people were laughing at me and how I had trouble getting the bars back in the holders. But I did it...next time I may not panic and actually do the three sets I was supposed to do.
2. I cut my hair!!! I have never let anyone touch my hair to cut it ( unless it was the smallest trim) But I finally said I need to do this. My hair doesn't make me a girl or feminine, I can do this! Why is it so hard? For me my hair is what made me more girlie and feminine. For the most part if you asked 100 people to say one word about me, feminine would not be there. So I felt like if I had long hair it would make me more like a girl. So I challenged that thought process and let Marie Eve Cut it off, and by cut it off I mean a few inches ( 4) that's a lot for me.
Well 2 things down...hopefully I will take away from this that I CAN do this. But I must say it is really hard. I seriously doubt I would be able to do this without my amazing supportive friends at the studio, Gina, Tina, Ariane and Nancy you are my cheerleaders!! THANK YOU!!
Friday, November 15, 2013
It has been awhile...
I know it has been awhile but PHEW....so much has been going on I seriously haven't had a chance ( or I have been a bit lazy) to get a few posts up here. I will try and sum it up so we can all catch up! HAHA!!
Besides that I have so much to tell about our little Dragon and all we have gone though with her, I do feel the need to start with my health battle. As the whole world knows ( because I don't stop talking about it) I am still on my weight loss saga to hit the 100lbs lost, I am currently at 89lbs and am sooooo close and yet sooooo far. For the first time since I started the whole crap ( I mean happy time) I have never gained any weight, if I was going through a rough patch I was able to maintain. BUT 2 weeks ago I was stupid sick and on antibiotics , unable to go to the gym and just feeling pretty blah, when I went to that weeks weigh in I had gain just about 3 lbs. Normally this would have spun me into a super negative place in my head, but I am really proud of the fact that I just accepted it and as soon as I could I got back on track. This may not seem like a big deal, but for me who constantly pushes to reach my goal, accepting that I can't control it all and all I can do is "just keep swimming" is not an epic failure. I am happy to report that I lost all that weight in this weeks weigh in and if I can pull it together for the remaining 2 months before the surgery I may hit my goal by Jan 9th. I HOPE!!!
Life is this funny thing, you think you've got it down and then something come your way and you say WHAT?!?!?! Not fair, how come, blah blah...but I was watching an episode of something and Elie Weisel was on it and he said the only thing we can control in life is our reactions to situations. He of course was talking about the Nazis, but I think we can apply it to ourselves ( my opinion). I am going to try and shift my thought process to look at the big picture as the journey and my reaction to everything in it will be my new goal. ( I am a very goal oriented person) I am going to try and react better to situations and to people in my life. THAT should be a challenge...I am a bit "hot" as they say. This I am sure will be a life long struggle but an interesting one at that.
Anyways, I could go on and on...so in a nut shell...Eric has gotten the first phase of his daddy dragon tattoo...now we both have our little dragon for life! Speaking of Layla Rose, she is AMAZING! still not talking and we are getting her ears testes next week, but WHAT a character! If the apple doesn't fall far from the tree we are in for it BIG TIME! I am 2 papers and a final away from being the first female Davis to have achieved a bachelors degree and let me tell you I CAN"T WAIT!! this semester had been HELL! but it is almost done yay! The holiday season is coming up and I am seriously looking forward to reconnecting with my friends as I haven't been able to see you all as much while I am trying to balance it all.
I am tired but in a good way...here is to what life throws your way and how we react to it! CHEERS!
Besides that I have so much to tell about our little Dragon and all we have gone though with her, I do feel the need to start with my health battle. As the whole world knows ( because I don't stop talking about it) I am still on my weight loss saga to hit the 100lbs lost, I am currently at 89lbs and am sooooo close and yet sooooo far. For the first time since I started the whole crap ( I mean happy time) I have never gained any weight, if I was going through a rough patch I was able to maintain. BUT 2 weeks ago I was stupid sick and on antibiotics , unable to go to the gym and just feeling pretty blah, when I went to that weeks weigh in I had gain just about 3 lbs. Normally this would have spun me into a super negative place in my head, but I am really proud of the fact that I just accepted it and as soon as I could I got back on track. This may not seem like a big deal, but for me who constantly pushes to reach my goal, accepting that I can't control it all and all I can do is "just keep swimming" is not an epic failure. I am happy to report that I lost all that weight in this weeks weigh in and if I can pull it together for the remaining 2 months before the surgery I may hit my goal by Jan 9th. I HOPE!!!
Life is this funny thing, you think you've got it down and then something come your way and you say WHAT?!?!?! Not fair, how come, blah blah...but I was watching an episode of something and Elie Weisel was on it and he said the only thing we can control in life is our reactions to situations. He of course was talking about the Nazis, but I think we can apply it to ourselves ( my opinion). I am going to try and shift my thought process to look at the big picture as the journey and my reaction to everything in it will be my new goal. ( I am a very goal oriented person) I am going to try and react better to situations and to people in my life. THAT should be a challenge...I am a bit "hot" as they say. This I am sure will be a life long struggle but an interesting one at that.
Anyways, I could go on and on...so in a nut shell...Eric has gotten the first phase of his daddy dragon tattoo...now we both have our little dragon for life! Speaking of Layla Rose, she is AMAZING! still not talking and we are getting her ears testes next week, but WHAT a character! If the apple doesn't fall far from the tree we are in for it BIG TIME! I am 2 papers and a final away from being the first female Davis to have achieved a bachelors degree and let me tell you I CAN"T WAIT!! this semester had been HELL! but it is almost done yay! The holiday season is coming up and I am seriously looking forward to reconnecting with my friends as I haven't been able to see you all as much while I am trying to balance it all.
I am tired but in a good way...here is to what life throws your way and how we react to it! CHEERS!
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| Even at Auntie Julie's I can't get away from this camera? Seriously? |
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| yes...those are the cutest converse ever!! ( not to mention the kid in them) |
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| NO....I am not headed for the stairs again... |
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| That is an ORIGINAL cabbage patch form th 80's people...meet Elisabeth ( she was mine) |
Sunday, October 6, 2013
Wonderland!! SUPER FUN!!! Toronto Time!
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| Cousins just chillin' |
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| Birthday time!!! |
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| Not loving the hat!! HAHA!! |
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| Wonderland! |
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| Just be fore the Leviathan... you go brave boys! |
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| Snoopy Land with the dragon!! GREAT DAY! |
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| Our first Carousel ride! |
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| Our second ride ! HAHA!! |
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| Lisa & Lilia getting ready to kick butt!! |
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| ARGH Matey!!!! a trio of pirates! |
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| Watching Camp Snoopy |
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| Eating pizza.. YUM!! |
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| MMmmmmmm I love peperoni!! |
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