Again I write as a form a free therapy...I am still on my journey to lose weight...life long journey after all and again I am faced with the crazy psychological side of this exhausting battle.
I have been trying and mostly failing at changing how I see and feel about myself, each time I seem to make headway something happens and I take three steps back. So I have been trying to challenge myself in a way to prove to myself what I can do. To prove to myself how strong I can be... so I did 2 really "scary things".
1. At the gym I dared venture into the weight section. I have often used the small free weights or the machines, but never the bars. So I got my big girl pants on and I went int o the scary area and I did ten bench presses with the bars. I was ridiculously nervous and afraid people were laughing at me and how I had trouble getting the bars back in the holders. But I did it...next time I may not panic and actually do the three sets I was supposed to do.
2. I cut my hair!!! I have never let anyone touch my hair to cut it ( unless it was the smallest trim) But I finally said I need to do this. My hair doesn't make me a girl or feminine, I can do this! Why is it so hard? For me my hair is what made me more girlie and feminine. For the most part if you asked 100 people to say one word about me, feminine would not be there. So I felt like if I had long hair it would make me more like a girl. So I challenged that thought process and let Marie Eve Cut it off, and by cut it off I mean a few inches ( 4) that's a lot for me.
Well 2 things down...hopefully I will take away from this that I CAN do this. But I must say it is really hard. I seriously doubt I would be able to do this without my amazing supportive friends at the studio, Gina, Tina, Ariane and Nancy you are my cheerleaders!! THANK YOU!!
Thursday, November 28, 2013
Friday, November 15, 2013
It has been awhile...
I know it has been awhile but PHEW....so much has been going on I seriously haven't had a chance ( or I have been a bit lazy) to get a few posts up here. I will try and sum it up so we can all catch up! HAHA!!
Besides that I have so much to tell about our little Dragon and all we have gone though with her, I do feel the need to start with my health battle. As the whole world knows ( because I don't stop talking about it) I am still on my weight loss saga to hit the 100lbs lost, I am currently at 89lbs and am sooooo close and yet sooooo far. For the first time since I started the whole crap ( I mean happy time) I have never gained any weight, if I was going through a rough patch I was able to maintain. BUT 2 weeks ago I was stupid sick and on antibiotics , unable to go to the gym and just feeling pretty blah, when I went to that weeks weigh in I had gain just about 3 lbs. Normally this would have spun me into a super negative place in my head, but I am really proud of the fact that I just accepted it and as soon as I could I got back on track. This may not seem like a big deal, but for me who constantly pushes to reach my goal, accepting that I can't control it all and all I can do is "just keep swimming" is not an epic failure. I am happy to report that I lost all that weight in this weeks weigh in and if I can pull it together for the remaining 2 months before the surgery I may hit my goal by Jan 9th. I HOPE!!!
Life is this funny thing, you think you've got it down and then something come your way and you say WHAT?!?!?! Not fair, how come, blah blah...but I was watching an episode of something and Elie Weisel was on it and he said the only thing we can control in life is our reactions to situations. He of course was talking about the Nazis, but I think we can apply it to ourselves ( my opinion). I am going to try and shift my thought process to look at the big picture as the journey and my reaction to everything in it will be my new goal. ( I am a very goal oriented person) I am going to try and react better to situations and to people in my life. THAT should be a challenge...I am a bit "hot" as they say. This I am sure will be a life long struggle but an interesting one at that.
Anyways, I could go on and on...so in a nut shell...Eric has gotten the first phase of his daddy dragon tattoo...now we both have our little dragon for life! Speaking of Layla Rose, she is AMAZING! still not talking and we are getting her ears testes next week, but WHAT a character! If the apple doesn't fall far from the tree we are in for it BIG TIME! I am 2 papers and a final away from being the first female Davis to have achieved a bachelors degree and let me tell you I CAN"T WAIT!! this semester had been HELL! but it is almost done yay! The holiday season is coming up and I am seriously looking forward to reconnecting with my friends as I haven't been able to see you all as much while I am trying to balance it all.
I am tired but in a good way...here is to what life throws your way and how we react to it! CHEERS!
Besides that I have so much to tell about our little Dragon and all we have gone though with her, I do feel the need to start with my health battle. As the whole world knows ( because I don't stop talking about it) I am still on my weight loss saga to hit the 100lbs lost, I am currently at 89lbs and am sooooo close and yet sooooo far. For the first time since I started the whole crap ( I mean happy time) I have never gained any weight, if I was going through a rough patch I was able to maintain. BUT 2 weeks ago I was stupid sick and on antibiotics , unable to go to the gym and just feeling pretty blah, when I went to that weeks weigh in I had gain just about 3 lbs. Normally this would have spun me into a super negative place in my head, but I am really proud of the fact that I just accepted it and as soon as I could I got back on track. This may not seem like a big deal, but for me who constantly pushes to reach my goal, accepting that I can't control it all and all I can do is "just keep swimming" is not an epic failure. I am happy to report that I lost all that weight in this weeks weigh in and if I can pull it together for the remaining 2 months before the surgery I may hit my goal by Jan 9th. I HOPE!!!
Life is this funny thing, you think you've got it down and then something come your way and you say WHAT?!?!?! Not fair, how come, blah blah...but I was watching an episode of something and Elie Weisel was on it and he said the only thing we can control in life is our reactions to situations. He of course was talking about the Nazis, but I think we can apply it to ourselves ( my opinion). I am going to try and shift my thought process to look at the big picture as the journey and my reaction to everything in it will be my new goal. ( I am a very goal oriented person) I am going to try and react better to situations and to people in my life. THAT should be a challenge...I am a bit "hot" as they say. This I am sure will be a life long struggle but an interesting one at that.
Anyways, I could go on and on...so in a nut shell...Eric has gotten the first phase of his daddy dragon tattoo...now we both have our little dragon for life! Speaking of Layla Rose, she is AMAZING! still not talking and we are getting her ears testes next week, but WHAT a character! If the apple doesn't fall far from the tree we are in for it BIG TIME! I am 2 papers and a final away from being the first female Davis to have achieved a bachelors degree and let me tell you I CAN"T WAIT!! this semester had been HELL! but it is almost done yay! The holiday season is coming up and I am seriously looking forward to reconnecting with my friends as I haven't been able to see you all as much while I am trying to balance it all.
I am tired but in a good way...here is to what life throws your way and how we react to it! CHEERS!
 |
| Even at Auntie Julie's I can't get away from this camera? Seriously? |
 |
| yes...those are the cutest converse ever!! ( not to mention the kid in them) |
 |
| NO....I am not headed for the stairs again... |
 |
| That is an ORIGINAL cabbage patch form th 80's people...meet Elisabeth ( she was mine) |
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)