2 weeks on my own....

Hey hey! OK so here is the scoop...the studio (www.studiobenefit.ca)  where I do my class workouts has been closed since the 15th and I have been doing my workouts solo at Physical Park. Let me just say on my journey to lose 100lbs or more this has been a crappola time. I am about to vent ...heads up

1. first and foremost I miss my goddess friends who  have been my support this whole time. A wonderful group of ladies with our fearless leader Nancy. I feel a bit lost without them and it is hard to stay motivated without them. I have still been going to the gym at least once a day and playing hockey but it doesn't seem the same.  This is a lot a bit of a foreshadowing experience because I get surgery in a week ( ish) and I am not supposed to do activity for 4 weeks. I find this to increase my anxiety by 1000000000 because here I will be stuck without my support network and without exercise , not to mention no school.....all of this free time, limited mobility and no support...SCARY! I have already started researching exercise I can do and as much as I know it is not prudent, I have found ways to exercise without my arms and so to help alleviate my anxiety I am going to try and stay busy with my sitting bike exercises.

2. Let me say this. I truly believe that there needs to be support groups for people going through weight loss. I would love to have a sponsor or something to help me during these hard times. A group that functions like AA or something. I can see easily how people develop eating disorders, I mean today I worked out in the morning and had a decent eating day, then ate diner and had an all dressed baked potato. I felt so crap about eating that that I did another workout....not a horrible thing but more like the precursor to a problem.

ugh anyways, I know that this too shall pass, but for now I just want to have my friends back working out shaking it during zumba , getting my butt kicked in bootcamp and just being with people who help me to be the person I am working to be. 96lbs down and at least 4lbs to go...8 dodos left until the studio reopens! YAY!

Christmas 2013 yahoo!

in my castle!

Mancini's

SHOW'S OVER!!!

um....ya

HUG ME!

My new basket in my Christmas jammies!

I want to go for a pic nic!

Unwrapping! YAY!!!

MY NEW BOOTS!! YAY!!!

Christmas dress! so pretty!

both my dragons!

The ladies!

Cousins!

chilling with our sippy cups!

not quite the way the mic works ...lol

Daddy and dragon!

MY FAMILY!

Defining moments....and people

I find myself sitting here in bed, saying I was going to go to bed early and get a good nights sleep before my exam tomorrow and yet I am awake...I can't stop think about today and everything tomorrow will bring and what it will mean to me.

Friday December 13th 2013 has been a day that I have worked to achieve for the last 6 years. I have already accumulated enough grades to graduate and all I need to do is walk into the room, and sit the exam. If I do that I will be the first in my family to put herself through school and graduate with a university degree. Everyone has their own story , but mine is relative to me and so the EPIC journey will come to a head tomorrow and an incredible chapter of my life will have finally concluded. The sweat and tears it took to get here having been only truly understood by the one person who stood by me the entire way, my incredible husband. I had to fight to get my married name on my degree, but there is no name other than my own that deserves to be there more. As I struggled and fought exhaustion, stress, and sometime hopelessness he stood by. Never once did he say , slow down, take it easy, or any of the other things people say. He knows me too well, he knows I would never do that, and the more people tell me to slow down the more I want to go hard. No, Eric knew what to say and all these years he has said what I needed, "How can I help? what can I do? You will do this, you CAN and WILL do this, don't give up". Eric is EXTRAORDINARY and no man has ever understood his wife as mine does, and I am the one who has the degree but he is the one who helped get me there.

Tomorrow is going to change my life...here is to the next chapter

Angels come in all shapes...

Today was a day of revelations, a day when I was profoundly touched. I have been going through my weight loss battle as you all know and a consequence has become more and more apparent that I was not prepared to deal with. The physical aspect and the nutrition aspect are pretty easy to cope with in comparison to the psychological. I have been struggling lately and today the most amazing human being noticed and helped me. I could sit here and type just what the impact she had on me and how I hope to be able to make the changes I want to make to deal better with all this and make her proud of me, but it would seriously be too long. We never know the impact we have on a person's life and how we may influence or even change its course, we never know if we are someone's angel.

I would just like to say thank you to my friend. Thank you.

Santa's little helper!!

 

So this year on a whim we decided to give the Faubourg de L'ile a shot at the last minute and it was super fun! Layla Rose was dressed up like a little helper...shoes and all and the had DEER!!! That was the best part! She loved them and cried when we took her away...She DIDN'T cry with Santa so we consider that a victory even though she didn't smile either....Enjoy!

 

my turn yet?

yup...I brought my wand... you never know when you'll need it!

Now?

OK! here we go! My turn!

ummm...ya, not so much!

have we resorted to bribery...seriously...is that all you got?

BAMBI!!!

getting a kiss from Bambi!

I see you watching me...

that's not Cocoa...

aside form the chewing on the fence...super cute!