So amazing moment in my life has just happened...I DID MY LAST INJECTION!! HALELUJAH! For the last four years I have been injecting myself, sometimes up to three times a day as part of fertility treatments and then as a way to maintain this pregnancy. It has been a difficult part of our journey, but in a way it was a constant reminder to myself what I was willing to do to have my daughter. I want also to use this as a way to illustrate a point. I have been on this journey with my husband , but also my friends and family have been along for the ups and downs of this whole ride. Many of them have had a different reaction than me, many of you are giddy and excited and gushing and to be honest overwhelming. I am not the kind of person who wears emotions out there for the world to see, I hide vulnerability and share them only with my husband, as a result of this people think that I am not excited or looking forward to being a Mom. Sometimes, I feel judged for not going all gaga over baby stuff and not wanting to join every mom and tots group, I have even been treated to the comment of "do you really want this?" My answer to all those who have thus far questioned my desire or "excitement" of becoming a mother is this, you have no idea what I have been through to become a Mother and what I have given up, what I have gained, what I have learned and what I have overcome to get to this point. I am me, and this is how I am and no one will love this baby as I will love her, and just because I do not want to be all gushy makes me no less than those of you who wear your emotions all out there. Therefore I am grateful for the injections and the medications and the procedures for making me really appreciate the gift of my daughter. I am humbly grateful and thankful for the chance to be a Mother and THAT'S what I am feeling. I am not googoogaga, I am in shock that in a few days I will hold my daughter and I am grateful for the chance and that the rocky road to get here has made me see what a gift I am being given, and not to forget what it took to make this precious baby girl.
I am going into the hospital in 24hrs and the next time I blog my daughter will be here. I have been Lifeclassing it up with Oprah and tonights lesson is to be thankful and I want to say this as well. I believe that what you put out into the world, you will get back. To be angry, or unforgiving will lead you nowhere, but to be thankful for the opportunity that life gives you is where we need to be. I am learning that, and it is that lesson that has made me so thankful for all the hardships my husband and I have faced because it has changed how we see this pregnancy.
So phew...thats my last rant before baby comes and I probably won't have time for rants for awhile LOL!!
If you want to change your state of being then start to be grateful
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